Nougat, Strategy & Smack-Talk: The Ultimate Five-Round Candy Bar Draft

Season 2, Episode 3: Candy Bar Draft – ValuNation Make Picks for East Coast Dream Team and Kansas City Candy Bar Club

The Setup – Sweet Tooth Meets Sports Talk

With no guest interview on the calendar, co-hosts Jordan “Schwo” Schwartz (Kansas City) and Charlie Johnson (East Coast) turned a slow news week into a five-round, snake-style candy-bar draft. Draft boards were prepped, trash talk was flowing, and strict ground rules applied: mainstream bars only, one pick per round, no flavor variants (looking at you, Peanut-Butter Twix).

The Picks – Who Went Where?

Round Kansas City Candy Bar Club (Schwartz) East Coast Dream Team (Charlie)
1 Kit Kat Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
2 Twix Caramello
3 Nutrageous Almond Joy
4 Take 5 Snickers
5 Payday Mallo Cup
  • Biggest Snipe: Charlie stole Snickers in Round 4 after Jordan left it on the board, planning to grab it last.
  • Deep-Cut Pick: Charlie’s final-round Mallo Cup (marshmallow-center cousin to Reese’s) had Gen-Z producer Jordan googling “What even is that?”
  • Most Controversial Omission: Butterfinger fell to undrafted-free-agent status thanks to its “cement-in-your-teeth” texture.

Beyond the Draft – Tangents, Tokers & Tax Revenue

  • Jim Belushi’s Oregon weed farm, Virginia’s upcoming recreational rollout, and how appraisers handle basement grow rooms—all somehow linked back to candy talk.
  • Missouri’s first-month rec-cannabis tax haul topped $300 million, yet Jordan still hits potholes on the way to the office. “Fix the roads, Missouri.”
  • Honorary shout-out to NPAS QC legend Bob Cockman, keeper of all unclaimed Almond Joys after every Halloween candy swap.

TL;DR – Episode 3 Takeaways


Drafts aren’t just for sports—sweet-tooth strategy can get just as heated.

Peanut-butter + chocolate is first-round talent (Kit Kat & Reese’s went 1-2).

Deep cuts matter. A Mallo Cup or Caramello can still win you the office bowl.

Real-estate tangents happen. Basements full of hydroponics may need a special addendum.

Fix the roads, Missouri. Your $300 M weed tax can buy a lot of asphalt.

📌 Candy bars, appraisal jargon, and a dash of cannabis economics—ValuNation reminds us that even the sweetest debates need solid comps.

👉 Catch every episode: rss.com/podcasts/valunation
📸 Follow the show: @valunationpodcast on Instagram

Don't miss these stories: